New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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