did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
