a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
