so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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