shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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