Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
