What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
