ya dads aren't the best wingmen
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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