2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The power of my boobs compel you
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize