I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
