someone owes me an orgasm
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i dont even know how to be here
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
