so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
don't judge my taste in strippers
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
