He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
