What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
