She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
