R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
