i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
