NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
