dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
