yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
