id be glad to
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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