covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We got so high we made milksteak
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
