Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
