and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
