It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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