I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
