I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
