i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
