I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
