So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I've blown a few things in my day
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
