so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
