It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my being single is dangerous.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So apparently I’m into choking now
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