You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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