I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
