so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
