are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
