this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
