dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
