I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
