do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
