She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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