i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
