at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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