You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
