new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
