she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
