Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Randomize
