her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Floor bacon is actually really good
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
