She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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