I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
