you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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